Helping Families by Tearing Down Walls

Parenting Tips

How do I walk the tightrope between rules and grace?

grace based parenting

I am often asked this question after teaching a parenting class. Ironically, when you establish a clear set of household boundaries, the expression of grace becomes easier – not harder! In fact, if you don’t clearly set the rules at home, children rarely even recognize the grace they’re receiving.

 

First, you must establish – and enforce – boundaries. This must be the rule rather than the exception. Then – and only then – you may find instances in which you allow the boundaries to change in healthy ways. For example, if your child is given a clear bedtime, that should be enforced nightly. Don’t get caught up in the “I need one more glass of water!” syndrome. Bedtime needs to be predictable and enforced. Once it is, however, then it becomes meaningful and special to announce on certain special occasions that grace will be extended for a special outing, movie, or just time to hang out with the family.

 

When dealing with enforcing those boundaries, the same thing applies.  You can reflect the nature of God’s grace to your children, but only if the norm is to follow through with the consequences you have set forth. You’ll find that your children better appreciate both boundaries and grace when they understand what to expect. Grace-based parenting…works!


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Parenting Tips

“What if my "ex" won't apply the same rules at his/her house?”

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The spiritual barriers people face are countless, but they can be categorized into Eight Primary Walls. These walls correlate with the 8 primary breakthroughs that everyone needs.
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1 of 48
I believe in an all-powerful, all-knowing God.
2 of 48
When I am facing a difficult situation, I feel like I can solve problems on my own.
3 of 48
I find myself drawn to things I know are bad for me.
4 of 48
I have to guard against judging people when I learn they are dealing with tough circumstances.
5 of 48
I believe God is willing and able to answer my prayers.
6 of 48
I am grateful for the things I have been given.
7 of 48
I believe God wants what is best for me.
8 of 48
I feel there is a disconnect between who I really am and how I act in front of other people.
9 of 48
I am so busy that I find myself ignoring the most important things in my life.
10 of 48
I worry that God is angry with me.
11 of 48
I tend to expect the worst to happen.
12 of 48
It humbles me to think I can know God.
13 of 48
I am intentionally seeking to grow in my relationships with others.
14 of 48
I am confident God has forgiven me for my past.
15 of 48
I question why God allowed certain things to happen in my life.
16 of 48
I don't believe anyone can ever know what is absolutely true.
17 of 48
I think that God will meet all my needs.
18 of 48
When looking back on my life, I tend to focus on all of the things I did wrong.
19 of 48
I feel strong relationships are hard, but worth it.
20 of 48
I have a hard time trusting people.
21 of 48
I have too many of my own problems to deal with the problems of others.
22 of 48
I find myself more focused on the things I don't have but wish I did.
23 of 48
I believe truth is the same for everyone.
24 of 48
I worry about the problems that the future holds.
25 of 48
I feel compelled to make the world around me better.
26 of 48
I am willing to sacrifice immediate gratification for something better down the road.
27 of 48
I know a lot of people, but don't feel very close to many people.
28 of 48
I have been wronged in the past in a way I cannot get over.
29 of 48
I believe God is loving and kind.
30 of 48
People would describe me as a giving person.
31 of 48
I think God cares about the details of my life.
32 of 48
When bad things happen, I wonder if God can make things better.
33 of 48
I feel I can turn to God for direction.
34 of 48
When bad things happen, I feel like I am getting what I deserve.
35 of 48
The possibility of gaining a good friend is worth the risk.
36 of 48
I am amazed at God's power.
37 of 48
I look forward to good things in my future.
38 of 48
People who have hurt me in the past cause me to avoid some relationships today.
39 of 48
I feel with God's help, I can face any situation.
40 of 48
I observe things that make me wonder if I should believe the Bible.
41 of 48
I have witnessed things that make me wonder if God is in control.
42 of 48
I am willing to serve others for nothing in return.
43 of 48
I try to avoid temptations that would bring me harm.
44 of 48
I believe God loves me in spite of who I am.
45 of 48
I believe the Bible has answers for today's circumstances.
46 of 48
My faith practices are more about routine than relationship.
47 of 48
It troubles me that God has not answered my prayers.
48 of 48
I spend too much of my energy pursuing material things.
Great you have finished the evaluation.
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